


Not without you

by under_the_perseids



Series: Before We Get Started, Does Anyone Want to Get Out? [5]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Awesome Howling Commandos, Blow Jobs, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Has Panic Attacks, Bucky's jealous of Agent Carter, Canon Compliant, Delusions, Established Relationship, Idiots in Love, M/M, Married Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, POV Bucky Barnes, POV Multiple, Post-Battle of Azzano (Marvel), Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Steve Rogers, WWII, mentions of torture-not explicit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:48:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29824500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/under_the_perseids/pseuds/under_the_perseids
Summary: Steve rescues Bucky from Azzano, and Bucky has to deal with some jealousy issues for the first time.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Before We Get Started, Does Anyone Want to Get Out? [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2048645
Comments: 11
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this part at the beginning of January, and then the Capitol Riot happened and I got majorly side-tracked. For that, I apologize. Thank you all for sticking with this story. I love these boys!

_ Steve _ . He needed Steve. He wanted Steve. But Steve was in Brooklyn, and Bucky was delirious in some cage in Europe. He assumed they were in Italy, but after what he had witnessed in battle, Bucky wasn’t sure of anything anymore. Blue light. Men just disappearing. Vanishing into the aether. And the tank! Bucky hadn’t believed his eyes when he’d seen that monstrosity. 

Someone shook him, and a whisper of “C’mon, Sarge. Up and at ‘em” came at him from his left. He knew that voice. “C’mon, you gotta get up. The bastards are making their rounds.”  _ The bastards? _ Oh, right. The Germans.  _ Were they German? _ Their uniforms looked odd. It had an octopus on it. Why would Germans have an octopus symbol? A strong arm grabbed his bicep tightly, interrupting his thoughts, and hauled him to his feet. Bucky came face to face with a giant mustache. Dum Dum.  _ Oh yeah. _ He looked around. The other faces started to come into focus, and his brain cleared away some of the fog. Dum Dum whispered, “You okay there, Sarge? You’re not looking too swell.”

Bucky huffed in a gravelly voice, “We’re POWs forced to make magical weapons. I don’t think any of us are too swell right now.” Dum Dum smiled, but it was a grim shadow of any true joy. Bucky could see the concern in his eyes. “I’ll make it another day, Dugan. Just don’t let me fall, and I’ll be peachy.” He didn’t want to be taken away like some of the other men had been when they had gotten too sick to work. They all heard the faint screams at night. No one came back.

Bucky made it through another day, if it was just a day. Time had no meaning anymore; it could have been days or months that they’d been held captive. But he wasn’t sure how much longer he had. There was an exhaustion that pervaded every cell in his body. He wondered if this was what Steve had felt like all the times the priests had come to give him the last rites. 

Bucky knew that he was not far from death. The cold that had started on the battlefield turned ferocious when they were captured, and it was not going to give him up. He didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to leave his folks or his sisters. And he especially didn’t want to leave Steve. What was going to happen to Steve if he weren’t around? Who would nurse him through pneumonia? Who would clean him up after getting the stuffing knocked out of him in an alley? Steve needed him, and he needed Steve. 

White hot heat started crawling up his throat at the thought of leaving Steve alone. He needed to escape  _ now _ , but his body was frozen. His skin was coming away from his muscles.  _ What is happening? _ His breath was coming quicker and quicker. A hand on his shoulder brought him back to reality. Bucky was sitting against the bars of the cage, and Dum Dum was next to him.

“You back with us, Sarge?”

Was he? In a shaky voice, Bucky whispered, “Y-yeah, I think so.” He took as deep a breath as his sickness would allow and let it out slowly.  _ I’m falling to pieces in here. _

“We all are, Sarge.” 

Bucky hadn’t realized that he had spoken that thought out loud. “Not you, Dum Dum. You’re as steady as a rock.” Bucky had met Timothy “Dum Dum” Dugan in basic training, and in all that time, he had never seen the older man waver. He always had a ready grin to go with that ridiculous mustache of his.

Dum Dum’s smile was wistful. “Steady as a rock in a landslide, maybe. I can’t change anything right now, so I’m just doing the best I can as I go along.”

“You’ll outlast us all.” Bucky fell silent for a moment. “Hey, can I ask a favor?”

“Sure thing, Sarge. Whatcha need?”

Bucky took a deep breath. “I’m not gonna last much longer, Tim.” Dum Dum looked surprised by the use of his given name. “I got...someone. Back home. And I need them to know what happened to me. And that I never stopped loving them, but the end of the line came sooner than I wanted.”

“Yeah, Sarge, I can do that,” Dum Dum said. “What’s your girl’s name?”

Closing his eyes, Bucky tried to keep the pain out of his voice. “Just...just find my sister, Frankie. Frances Barnes. And she’ll know what to do.”

When Dum Dum didn’t respond, Bucky opened his eyes. The older man was contemplating him with, perhaps, a touch of understanding. He finally replied softly, “Yeah, Sarge, I can do that.”

The following morning, Bucky knew it was going to be his last. He couldn’t stand on his own, and his lungs rattled with each breath. When the Germans came by, he whispered to Dum Dum, “Remember to find Frankie when this is all over.” Dum Dum gave him a salute as he was carried away from the rest of the 107th.

His thoughts swirled as the two Germans half-carried, half-dragged him down a long hallway. He’d prefer if they just shot him, but he knew from the screams that that wasn’t going to be the case. Bucky tried to not focus on what was ahead of him. Instead, he went through his memories of Steve. All their big moments together came to mind, but the memories he settled on were the ones of their everyday lives together. The day they exchanged vows was certainly joyous, but the greatest contentment came from him sitting on one end of the couch reading, while Steve drew him from the other end. Much of their life could be reduced down to that image. And he would give anything to experience it one more time. 

Eventually, his captors brought him into a room with what looked like medical equipment everywhere. He started to panic as the goons holding him brought him over to a table with straps on it. He struggled as much as he could as they forced him onto the table, but his illness made any struggle laughable. Bucky didn’t give up though. He feebly fought back, thinking of Steve the whole time. Steve wouldn’t give up. Steve wouldn’t surrender. 

Bucky paled as a short, balding, bespectacled man in a white lab coat stepped forward. There was nothing outwardly sinister-looking about him, but he made Bucky’s insides freeze. He walked up to Bucky and said in accented English, “Welcome. I am Dr. Arnim Zola. Let’s see how long you last, hmm?”

_ Doctor? Oh god, what is he going to do? _ Bucky just grit his teeth and stared at the man. He wasn’t going to show them any fear. Dr. Zola delicately took a large syringe off the table next to him. Bucky was going to  _ try _ to not show any fear. As the doctor tapped the syringe to get the air bubbles out, he said to Bucky dispassionately, “This will hurt.” And then he plunged the needle into Bucky’s bicep. 

The needle wasn’t so bad, but the liquid itself was pure fire. Bucky could feel the white-hot pain lick his insides as it spread through his body. He imagined that downing an entire bottle of whiskey in one go would start to feel somewhat similar. And then all conscious thought left his body. All that remained was pure primal feeling and instinct. Bucky arched against his restraints to no avail; he couldn’t escape. He couldn’t escape the restraints, couldn’t escape the pain. It was as if supernovae were exploding in every cell of his body. He was splintered into a million little pieces. And then he blacked out.

* * *

Bucky didn’t know what was real. He didn’t know if  _ he _ was real. There were moments of thoughtless clarity, but his mind quickly took him elsewhere. Steve usually kept him company in those moments. Oftentimes, it was just them sitting quietly in their apartment, just being near each other. Sometimes, Steve would talk to him, but more often than not, he just sat there, quietly drawing. But then, pain would take him away from Steve, and he would see Dr. Zola observing him. He always managed to find the doctor’s eyes. The goons did whatever they were doing, but it was Zola controlling them. Zola who was the supplier of pain. The pain that never ended. Bucky could have been on that table for hours or months. The meaning of time had fled his senses.

Vaguely aware of being on the table, Bucky could hear someone mumbling the same thing over and over again. It sounded like a serial number. It sounded like  _ his _ serial number. Who knew his number? And why were they repeating it? Suddenly a face appeared.

The face had Steve’s eyes. How could someone else have Steve’s eyes? Then Steve’s voice said, “Bucky.” He must be dreaming. But what a strange dream. Steve never visited him while he was on the table. Steve always took him back to their apartment. And it didn’t look like Steve. Why would someone visit him with Steve’s eyes and Steve’s voice?

He felt the straps holding him captive being torn away. The voice spoke again. “It’s me. It’s Steve.”

“Steve?” Well, if it was a dream, at least he was free of his restraints. The dream named Steve helped him off the table to the floor. His legs nearly gave out. But Dream Steve held him up. 

“I thought you were dead.” The voice still sounded like Steve. A hand that felt like Steve’s briefly cupped the back of his head.

Bucky felt his head clear a tiny bit and realized that he had to look  _ up _ into the face with Steve’s eyes. “I thought you were smaller.” This didn’t make any sense. His Steve was small, even in his dreams. He felt his knees buckle again. What had the Germans injected him with? The man looked like he could have been Steve’s older healthier brother. But Steve didn’t have any brothers. Bucky couldn’t help but stare at this Steve. Could it really be  _ his _ Steve? The eyes and the voice were the same. Was it  _ possible _ ? As this Steve dragged him away from the torture table, Bucky asked, “What happened to you?”

“I joined the army,” came the reply.  _ That _ sounded like his Steve. Maybe it was possible. After all, the Germans fired guns with blue lights that vaporized people. 

As Bucky gained the use of his legs again, Steve led them through the maze of hallways. He asked Steve, “Did it hurt?”

“A little.”

“Is this permanent?” If this was reality, Bucky was going to have to get used to being the smaller spoon. He didn’t think he’d mind.

Steve replied, “So far.”

Bucky heard multiple very large explosions nearby and felt a wave of heat attack him and Steve as they reached the catwalk overlooking the factory floor. Steve led them up to another floor, but then stopped as Bucky heard someone call out, “Captain America!”  _ Who? _ thought Bucky, but then he spied  _ those _ eyes.

No longer in a white lab coat, Dr. Zola had on a trench coat and hat for travelling. Bucky was vaguely aware that the man standing next to the doctor was speaking to Steve. But all Bucky could do was stare down Zola, who seemed equally as interested in staring  _ him _ down. He could hardly keep the bile down that threatened to make a vicious appearance. He barely paid attention to what was going on with Steve until the man in black started to peel his face off. Enough of what the man had said to Steve penetrated his staring contest for him to know that somehow Steve and that man had had something similar done to themselves. Bucky asked Steve, “You don’t have one of those, do you?” as a red skull was revealed under the mask.

The man with the red skull and Dr. Zola soon left as more explosions rocked the factory. Steve hurried them up to another level to a thin beam spanning the expanse of the factory, which shook at still more explosions. Steve helped him over the railing saying, “Let’s go. One at a time.” Bucky thought it was a good thing he still felt delusional as he didn’t think he could make it across the beam that was less than a foot wide with full sanity. The heat coming up from below was incredible. The factory shook, and the beam fell a few inches. He tried to walk quicker, then noticed the beam was coming away from the catwalk. He ran the last few feet and had to leap to the railing as the beam fell to the inferno below. 

Steve looked at him with horror. He was stuck on the other side, and the factory wasn’t going to last much longer. Bucky looked around and shouted to Steve, “Gotta be a rope or something!”

Steve yelled back, “Just go! Get out of here!”

Was Steve crazy?! “No! Not without you!” There was no way that Bucky was going to leave Steve’s side ever again. And there was no way he was going to save himself while leaving Steve behind. He watched as Steve bent the metal railing with his  _ bare hands _ to make an opening and backed up. What the hell did Steve think he was doing? Apparently whatever had made his body bigger had not made him any smarter. Steve ran the few steps he was able and leaped across the fiery chasm. Bucky watched Steve as if in slow motion. There was no way he could make it. 

The heat and smoke made him close his eyes as he heard a thud. He was afraid to open his eyes. But he heard a grunt just below him. “Buck? A little help?”

Bucky looked down. Steve was hanging onto the bottom railing with one hand. Bucky quickly got down on his knees to haul Steve up. They fell back onto the catwalk, both breathing heavily.  _ Holy hell _ . This was not the way Bucky ever pictured potentially losing Steve; of all the possible scenarios, Steve falling to his death in a fiery inferno as an Adonis had  _ not _ been one of them, surprisingly. 

Getting to his feet, Steve helped Bucky up saying, “C’mon, Buck. We gotta go. This place isn’t gonna last much longer.” Steve somehow led them through the burning building, and Bucky just stared in awe at the destruction around him. They quickly got outside and soon caught up with the other captives who had made their way into the forest around them. Bucky looked for Dum Dum’s ridiculous bowler hat. He spotted it bobbing near the front of the pack of soldiers. He told Steve to follow him.

Bucky reached out to Dum Dum who turned in surprise. For a moment, he froze in place but then engulfed Bucky in a bear hug, exclaiming, “Sarge! Thank the heavens! I didn’t think we were going to see you again.”

“Thanks, Dum Dum. I didn’t think I was going to either, but Steve here found me, luckily.”

Dum Dum looked at Steve and grinned. “Our very own Captain America rescue. You got anyone else with you?”

“Uhh…” Steve refused to look at either of the men.

“Steven Grant Rogers! You mean to tell me you came here by  _ yourself _ ?! What the hell were you thinking?” Bucky glared at Steve, incensed. Meanwhile, Dum Dum guffawed at Steve’s reticence and Bucky’s reaction. “Shut up, Dugan. Christ, Steve! I’m too tired for this shit right now, but don’t think this is the end of it.” Steve, for his part, at least looked mildly chagrined. Bucky shook his head. “Anyway, Steve, this is Tim Dugan, otherwise known as Dum Dum. Dum Dum, this is Steve.” 

The older man held out his hand, “Nice to meet you, Steve. Or should I say, Captain America?”

Shaking his hand, Steve laughed, “Please just call me Steve. Nice to meet you, too.”

“Captain America?” Bucky looked confusedly between the two other men.

“Yeah, Sarge. Didn’t you see any of the comics the guys have been reading? I didn’t think they were based on a real person, though.”

Steve mumbled, “They’re not. Not really, anyway. I mean, yeah, they’re based on what I look like now and the show that Senator Brandt put on, but…” Steve trailed off. “I’ll explain later.” What in the world had Steve gotten up to while Bucky was away? He looked at Steve and raised an eyebrow in question. Steve just shrugged and said, “Later. I promise.”

They marched until their legs could no longer go on and made camp as best they could in a thicket of tall pines. Luckily, Gabe Jones and Dum Dum had been able to commandeer a tank, so some of the sicker men had been able to catch a ride. Still, it had been slow going as the only one who’d had proper nutrition and rest the last few weeks was Steve. And he was certainly using that to his advantage, checking in with each of the men, making sure they were doing as well as they could. If Bucky had still been unsure this  _ behemoth _ was truly Steve, the latter’s actions wiped away any doubt. No one cared as much as Steve. But it still wasn’t  _ his _ Steve. Bucky hoped his Steve was still in there under all that muscle. Would this new Steve still need Bucky? Still want him? He wasn’t sure.

Interrupting his musings, Steve stood over Bucky where he sat against a tree and held out his hand. “Walk with me?” Bucky let Steve help him up. This was really going to take some getting used to. They walked past Dum Dum and Gabe, and Steve nodded to them saying, “We’re going to do a perimeter check.”

Bucky was silent as Steve led them further away from the exhausted men. When they were out of eyesight, Steve glanced back and abruptly grabbed Bucky’s hand and squeezed  _ hard _ . Surprised, Bucky said, “Careful, Stevie, or you’re going to break my hand.”

Steve immediately loosened his grip but didn’t let go. “Sorry, Buck. I’ve just been needing to do that. I really need to hug you, but I want to make sure you’re okay first.” Steve looked down at him with his big puppy eyes, as if trying to see into Bucky’s soul.

_ Am I okay? _ “Yeah, I think so, Stevie.” Before he could even finish his sentence, Steve pulled him into a great big hug. Bucky fell into the hug and tucked his nose into Steve’s neck. It didn’t feel like hugging Steve, but it certainly felt good to be held. It had been so long. And under the smell of sweat and soot, there was still the essence of  _ Steve _ . As Bucky felt his own tears fall, he could also feel Steve trembling and heard a hiccup. Pulling back slightly to see Steve’s face, he saw tears making their way down his cheeks.

“Buck,” Steve breathed. “I truly thought you were dead when I saw you on that table. I thought I had come all this way to just miss you. I haven’t been able to think straight since Colonel Phillips said you hadn’t returned from the fight. I was so scared. I just--I still can’t believe you’re okay.”

Bucky’s heart swooped down to his stomach. He held Steve’s face and wiped away the tears with his thumbs.  _ Steve admitting that he had been scared? That was new. _ “I thought I was dead, too, sweetheart. But you rescued me. I’m here. You’re here.” He let out a huff of laughter. “I’m sure I’m not going to like finding out  _ how _ you came to be here, but you’re here.” He pulled Steve’s head down to rest their foreheads together, Steve’s arms still holding him tight about the waist. “I thought the end of the line had come for us, pal, and I wasn’t going to be able to tell you that I love you. That knowing you and loving you has been the greatest joy in my life. That I don’t know who I am without you. That I’m not  _ me _ without you.” Bucky meant every word. There was no Bucky Barnes without Steve Rogers. Steve had been his mission in life from the age of seven years old.

Steve pulled him in for a searing kiss that melted Bucky’s bones. Bucky was breathless when Steve quickly pulled away. “Sorry, Buck. I just--” but Bucky pulled him in again. He needed to taste those lips, feel the heat of Steve’s tongue on his. He had no idea how long they stood there, finding each other again. They finally pulled apart and both said breathlessly, “I love you.”

Throwing his head back, Steve laughed loudly. Bucky soon joined in, feeling some of the tightness in his chest release. He took in a shuddery breath and reveled in being with Steve again. “God, Stevie. I don’t even know what to say.”

“I know,” Steve cupped Bucky’s face and looked into his eyes. Bucky had been seeing Steve’s eyes in his dreams for months, but nothing compared to seeing the real deal. He still wasn’t sure that this wasn’t some sort of fantasy.

“It’s really you, Stevie?” Bucky couldn’t help the tremor that laced his question.

“Yeah, dollface, it’s really me.” Steve smiled gently, warming Bucky from the inside. He didn’t think anyone could fake the smile that was just for Bucky. The taller man grabbed his hand and started walking again. “We probably should actually do a perimeter check.”

They walked in silence for a short while. Bucky’s thoughts couldn’t stop swirling around. The amorphous wisps kept slipping and sliding past one another, without grabbing onto anything concrete. If he could sleep for a couple of weeks, that might help.

“So…” Steve said, breaking the silence. “Who’s going to go first?”

Bucky cocked his head and said, “What d’you mean?”

“C’mon, Buck. You know what I mean. I’m  _ obviously _ not the same, and something  _ obviously _ happened to you.”

“What do you want me to say, Steve? I was near dead, got strapped to a table, and they did...stuff to me.” Bucky wasn’t really sure why he didn’t want to talk about what happened to him, especially to Steve. It felt like it’d  _ taint _ Steve somehow if he knew. Maybe he just still didn’t want Steve to know any of the bad stuff that comes with war. Not that he didn’t think that Steve couldn’t handle it, but he’d held out hope for so long that at least one part of his life was distanced from the horrors he had seen. 

Bucky hadn’t realized they’d stopped walking until Steve turned to face him. He was frowning slightly and looked like he wanted to say something. Touching a hand briefly to Bucky’s face, Steve finally said, “Okay, Buck.”  _ That was it?! _ From Steve? Miracle of miracles.

Conceding slightly, Bucky amended, “I’ll tell you the details another time, Stevie. So, what’s your story? How did  _ this _ happen?” Bucky waved his hand in Steve’s general direction.

“Uh...yeah. Right,” Steve hesitated. “But first, you have to promise me you won’t go off the rails. What’s done is done, and we can’t change anything now.”

“Uh huh. So what you’re about to tell me is that you did something incredibly stupid while believing it was for a noble cause?” Bucky knew Steve. He’d always know Steve.

“No! It wasn’t...well-” Steve dropped his head before continuing, “...yeah.”

“Uh huh.” It felt good to ply Steve like this again. It felt familiar. And Bucky needed familiar. He needed to not think about what had been done to him. To not think about how his body healed at an alarming rate. To not think about that contraption they had put around his head. He would  _ not _ think about that.

“It all started on your last night in town before you shipped out. The expo thing.” Steve proceeded to tell him in detail everything that had happened since Bucky had left the States. He listened in amazement to Steve’s tale. And he somehow managed to not go  _ off the rails _ as Steve had asked, even though it was probably the most difficult thing he had ever attempted. If it had been someone else,  _ anyone _ else, Bucky would have felt like he was living in the science fiction dime novels he favored. But this was  _ Steve _ .  _ Bucky’s _ Steve. And his heart was in his throat through the whole of Steve’s telling.

Finishing his story, Steve looked to Bucky, who just said, “Steve. Stevie. Sweetheart. My love. That is the most insane, reckless thing I have ever heard, and if it weren’t you, I don’t know if I could believe it.” Steve looked like he wanted to interrupt, but Bucky shook his head and held up a hand. “ _ But _ ...but if you hadn’t, we wouldn’t be here right now. And for that, I’ll forgive you the thousand heart attacks you’ve just given me.” Bucky looked around to make sure no one was around and pulled Steve to him. He snaked his arms up into Steve’s hair and looked deep into those bright blue orbs that were home to him. “You managed to extend the end of the line for us, and I’ll be forever grateful.” Bucky leaned into Steve’s lips, meaning to keep it quick and chaste, but Steve’s hand at the back of his head pulled him deeper into the kiss. It wasn’t the desperate yearning as before, but it quickly turned desperately passionate.

Bucky’s body was on fire as Steve’s hands moved familiarly through his hair and over his back, finally settling on his hips. Bucky missed being able to engulf Steve, but being able to melt into his husband felt incredible. Steve’s new body was massive and as solid as a rock. Before he knew what was happening, Steve slid his hands down Bucky’s thighs and lifted him up and braced him against a tree. Surprised, Bucky instinctively wrapped his legs around Steve’s hips.  _ Oh wow, so  _ this _ is what that feels like _ . Bucky had always liked picking Steve up, but being the one picked up?  _ Hot _ . His weight didn’t seem to matter at all to Steve.  _ Extra hot _ . Bucky arched his body when Steve began to trail hot kisses down his neck. Somehow, he was coherent enough to stutter, “N-no marks, sugar” as Steve lightly nibbled at his earlobe. Steve pulled their hips impossibly closer, and Bucky could feel just how hot and hard Steve was. That almost made Bucky come in his pants right there and then. War doesn’t give much time for  _ personal _ endeavors, so any time Bucky had jerked off had been quick and dirty to get rid of the need. This, however, was making his head spin. Maybe he  _ had _ actually died back in the factory and this was heaven.

Steve pulled away, breathing heavily, and said, “Goddamn, Buck. I’m going to come in my pants if we keep going.” 

Laughing, Bucky said, “I was just thinking the same thing. This probably isn’t the best time to be doing this, is it?”

Steve gently set Bucky back on his feet and said, “Probably not. I don’t want to, but we should head back to camp.” He leaned into Bucky, noses and foreheads touching, making Bucky’s breath stutter. “I love you, Bucky Barnes. I need you to know that. And I’d do anything for you.”

Bucky felt his heart bloom at Steve’s words. He was so in love with this man it was almost painful. “Same here, Stevie.”

They slowly made their way back to camp, making sure it didn’t look like they had been ravishing each other. It had been difficult for Bucky to keep his hands and mouth off Steve. There was so much new body to explore, and he didn’t know when they’d get another chance. 

* * *

It took another two days to get back to the main base of the 107th. Bucky thought he should have been more exhausted than he was, considering how recently he had been on the edge of death. But he managed pretty well to keep up with Steve, who led the way. 

As they crested a hill, Bucky could see some of the soldiers who had avoided capture running to greet them. There were cheers and whistles all around. Steve gave Bucky a small smile and a quick squeeze on the arm. And then they were facing off with a colonel, but Bucky’s eyes fell to the beautiful brunette woman with bright red lipstick just over the colonel’s shoulder. He wondered what a woman who was clearly not a nurse was doing in the middle of the army camp. As Bucky was being greeted by the men of his unit, he saw the woman stand a little too close to Steve. He heard her say, “You’re late.”

Steve pulled out a radio of sorts and replied, “Couldn’t call my ride.” 

Bucky couldn’t quite believe his eyes or ears. Was Steve flirting? With a woman? Before he heard any more between the two of them, Bucky called out, “Hey! Let’s hear it for Captain America!” The men around them erupted into loud cheers. Steve looked around appreciatively, but the woman kept her eyes on Steve. Bucky was going to have to sort that out later.

* * *

_ Later _ turned out to be much much later. All the men who had been captured had needed to go through medical, and then they were all debriefed individually. It took hours. Bucky assumed that Steve was also being debriefed as it sounded like there wouldn’t be any disciplinary action against him. He knew he was crazy, but he really hoped that the brunette woman was not with Steve. In ten years together, Steve had never once given him a reason to even be remotely jealous, but this woman was causing it to flare up dangerously. There was just something about the way she looked at him. It was as if she could see past all the muscles and actually see  _ Steve _ , just the way Bucky had always seen Steve.

Bucky had these unpleasant thoughts whirling around while he chewed at a hangnail when Steve entered his tent. He was ashamed of himself when he asked abruptly, “ _ She’s _ not with you, is she?”  _ Ugh _ . He could kick himself.  _ Why?! _ Why did he have to ask that?

Steve frowned and asked confused, “Who?”

_ Oh god _ he was reading into things.  _ Smite me, O Lord _ . He forced himself to say, “That beautiful brunette with the red lipstick.”  _ Christ! _ Did he have to say all of that? Couldn’t he have just said  _ the brunette _ ? 

“Oh, you mean Agent Carter? I think she’s still in a meeting with Colonel Phillips.” Steve looked at him questioningly, but didn’t push the matter.  _ Thank god _ .

_ That _ was Agent Carter? Steve had mentioned her when he talked about training and being picked by Dr. Erskine, but he didn’t say anything about how devastatingly gorgeous she was.  _ Steve’s not interested in Agent Carter. We’re married. He’s my husband. Yes,  _ the little voice continued,  _ but married men can cheat. _

“Buck?” Steve’s voice interrupted Bucky’s vicious internal battle. “You okay?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah, just tired. It’s been a long day.” Hopefully Steve would accept that. As if reading his mind, Steve nodded and came to stand in front of him.

“I love  _ you _ , Bucky Barnes. I want only you, whatever condition you’re in. You don’t have to worry about anyone else.”

Surprised, Bucky blurted out, “Can you read minds now, too?”

With a gentle laugh, Steve reassured him, “No, dollface. But I know you. I know where your head’s at.” Steve cupped the back of Bucky’s head and swiped his thumbs across his cheeks. “I greatly admire Agent Carter. She’s got a spine of steel and doesn’t take crap from anyone. But no one can compare to you. ‘Til the end of the line, jerk.”

Put at ease, Bucky replied, “‘Til the end of the line, punk. And I love you, too.”

Steve pulled him in for a brief kiss and said, “I wish I could spend the night with you. I don’t know if I’ve properly slept since you were drafted.”

Bucky put his head against Steve’s chest and said, “Me either, pal. I’d give up my cot and sleep outside if it meant I could be with you.” He felt Steve kiss the top of his head. They stayed that way for some time, just  _ being _ with each other. There were no words or actions that could encompass what Bucky felt for Steve, so this fleeting interlude was as perfect as it could be in its simplicity.

* * *

The next few days were a whirlwind for Bucky as the whole of the 107th was given furlough, and they prepped to head for London. He didn’t get to see Steve as much as either of them wanted, but Steve tried to find him as often as possible. Bucky kept himself busy visiting the men in the medical tents, talking with them to distract himself and them from what had happened in Azzano. If he were still for too long, Dr. Zola’s eyes found him, peaceful in his pain. So, Bucky did what he could to hasten their departure.

Even though London could be bombed at any moment, Bucky felt  _ safe _ like he hadn’t in months. He could finally breathe deep. And he hoped that he could finally spend some time with Steve as the other man had spent much of his time in meetings with Colonel Phillips and Agent Carter, much to Bucky’s annoyance. He knew Steve was not interested in Carter, but there was just something about her that got under Bucky’s skin.

In their passing moments together, Steve told him about his plan to put together a team from his unit and asked for Bucky’s recommendation as he had been their sergeant for months and knew the men better than Steve. Bucky was glad to know that many of the men Bucky would choose were the ones that Steve already had in mind. And so they found themselves one evening in a London pub with a hodgepodge group of men that Bucky trusted his life with. 

Bucky wandered off to a quieter part of the pub while Steve convinced the men to be on his elite team. He knew they’d say yes. But Steve wanted to be polite and ask them anyway. When Steve found him, he said, “See? I told you. They’re all idiots.”

Steve sat down and asked, “How about you? You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?”

“Hell no,” Bucky replied. “That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I’m following him.” Bucky didn’t know Captain America. He knew Steve Rogers, and he’d follow Steve to hell if that’s what it would take. “But you’re keeping the outfit, right?”  _ Steve in tights? Yes, please. _

Steve looked like he wanted to say something completely inappropriate for being out in public as he quickly checked Bucky out. He settled on, “You know what? It’s kind of growing on me.” Bucky very much wanted to find out what Steve was thinking. Before he could pursue that train of thought, though, he heard the pub fall silent, even the raucous singing of his teammates quieted down.

Bucky leaned back to see what could cause even Dum Dum to stop singing, and he saw Agent Carter. But not icy army Agent Carter, bathed in brown and beige. Oh no. She was dressed as a woman on a mission. Matching reds from her lipstick to her dress to her heels and handbag. The fitted dress highlighted her voluptuous curves without being immodest. Bucky knew little of Agent Carter, but he did know that nothing she did was careless. She was on a mission to seduce.

She addressed Steve, “Captain.”

“Agent Carter,” he replied. 

She walked past Bucky to stand in front of Steve, and boy did that dress fit her like a glove. She gave a perfunctory glance to Bucky, who quickly said, “Ma’am” so as not to appear too rude. But Carter only had eyes on Steve.

“Howard has some equipment for you to try. Tomorrow morning?”

“Sounds good,” Steve said softly.

Agent Carter looked back at the group of men who had resumed their singing, and Bucky could see Steve looking her over. He tried to keep the pain in his heart from growing too large. After all, he had checked her out, too. Who wouldn’t when someone was dressed like that? But he felt his stomach sink. He tuned back in to hear Agent Carter say, “I see your top squad is prepping for duty.”

“You don’t like music?” Bucky asked with a little acid lacing his tone.

Still only looking at Steve, she replied, “I do, actually. I might even, when this is all over, go dancing.”

Bucky couldn’t help his retort, “Then what are we waiting for?” He just wanted her eyes off  _ his _ Steve. 

“The right partner.” Bucky could tell that Steve knew what she was talking about. “0800, Captain.” And she turned to leave.

Steve called after her, “Yes, ma’am. I’ll be there.”

Bucky was glad to see her go, but it would have been nice to have been acknowledged. “I’m invisible. I’m turning into you. It’s like a horrible dream,” he joked, trying to lighten the feeling in his heart.

Taking one of Bucky’s lines from when they were kids, Steve said, “Don’t take it so hard. Maybe she’s got a friend.” Steve hadn’t been in love with Bucky way back then, but had he felt like this all those times Bucky tried to set him up with a girl? No wonder Steve had always been so cranky about going on double dates. 

They had a few more drinks at the pub, discussing more neutral topics like strategies the team could use when they took on Hydra. On their way back to the hotel, Steve started talking about ideas he had for a uniform, but Bucky began thinking about his show outfit and what Steve would look like with just the shield and nothing else on. He had yet to see any part of Steve’s new body without clothes, and he was itching to memorize all of Steve’s firm new muscles. Bucky thought Steve had always been beautiful, even hunched over and hacking his lungs out from pneumonia. But now, Steve’s body fit his attitude. People would now listen when Steve spoke.

Before they reached the door to the hotel, Steve casually said, “So, since I’m a captain, I get a room to myself. You want to join?”  _ Did he want to join? Duh, Steve. _ Bucky nodded to keep himself from calling Steve stupid. Neither one said anything more as they made their way to Steve’s room.

Once inside, Steve set his key on the table and looked hesitantly towards Bucky. Bucky faltered at the unsure look in Steve’s eyes. Was Steve wishing he were in Agent Carter’s room instead? He started to second-guess himself and took a step back towards the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Uh...I wasn’t-” Bucky was confused. He took a deep breath. “You didn’t look sure. About me. Being in your room, I mean.”

Steve closed the distance between them. “Bucky, no! I am most definitely sure about you being here. I’m not sure about  _ me _ .”

Still confused, Bucky asked, “What do you mean?”

“Buck. You somehow fell in love with tiny scrawny me. I wasn’t sure if you’d like this new body.”

“Not like-” Bucky nearly choked. “Sugar, your new body is gorgeous. Doesn’t mean I didn’t love your old body. But more importantly, scrawny asthmatic or Greek god, I love  _ you _ .” He hung his head as he admitted, “I was concerned that you didn’t want me with your new body. You can get anybody you’d want, looking like that.”

Steve lifted Bucky’s chin with a gentle finger and a tender smile on his face. “Buck, honey. I will always just want you. No one else. And I’ll keep telling it to you, if you need.”

Blinking back some tears, Bucky smiled back at Steve. “Okay. You might have to deal with my jealousy every once and awhile if we continue to work with Agent Carter. She wants you.”

“Wha-...no, she doesn’t,” Steve looked truly befuddled. “I think she and Stark have a thing.”

Bucky held back his laugh at Steve’s blindness. “You’re precious, you know that? That smokin’ red dress she had on tonight? That was just for you. If it had been anyone else, she’d still have been in her uniform.”

Steve’s pale skin bloomed at Bucky’s words. “Maybe she was going somewhere after.”

“You keep telling yourself that, pal.” Bucky let out a shout of laughter. “Maybe there was a dame all those years ago who was interested in you, and you just never realized it.”

Steve flicked Bucky’s hip and said, “Shut it, jerk.”

“You gonna make me, punk?” Bucky liked where this was going. It felt like they’d stepped back into time, into their old familiar shoes. He’d needed this reprieve.

Steve swooped in to kiss Bucky, but stopped a hair short and said in a low growl that melted Bucky’s insides, “Yeah, I’ll make you.”

Before Bucky knew what was happening, Steve had lifted him against the wall like his weight meant nothing. He gasped, “God, Stevie, that’s hot.”

Steve didn’t say anything, but raised his eyebrow and smirked. The punk. Steve’s lips found Bucky’s and soon his tongue was begging entrance, which Bucky freely granted. Everything melted away, his petty jealousy, Zola lurking in the shadows of his mind, the war. It was just him and Steve; the way it had always been. His hands erratically explored Steve, and he could feel Steve’s hands anchoring him effortlessly under his thighs. But he needed to get out of his clothes. He needed Steve out of  _ his _ clothes.

As if reading his mind, Steve lowered Bucky back to the floor, but didn’t let his hands leave his body. “Clothes. Off, now,” Steve breathed harshly. Steve hadn’t even finished his words before Bucky started undoing the buttons on his own shirt. Steve followed suit, tossing his jacket and shirt onto a nearby chair. Bucky’s hands stilled on his belt as he took in Steve’s bare chest.  _ Holy hell. _ He was pretty sure his jaw was hanging open, but he didn’t care. Steve had bigger tits than many of the women he knew. Bucky didn’t know there could be so many muscles on one person’s body. He abruptly felt highly inadequate.

Steve must have seen Bucky falter, for he slowly walked over, and without saying anything, deftly undid Bucky’s belt, staring deep into his eyes the whole time. Bucky’s breath hitched, and he could feel himself trembling. As Steve pulled his belt free, he whispered, “Only. You. Buck. Only you.” Steve licked a hot stripe up Bucky’s neck and gently bit at the soft flesh while he undid Bucky’s pants and let them drop to the floor. Bucky gasped as Steve sank to his knees, letting his fingertips whisper across Bucky’s torso. God, Bucky had missed this. Not just any touch, but  _ Steve’s _ touch. He thought he would burst from being in the glow of Steve’s love again. 

Steve’s breath warmed his skin, and he looked down into those large blue eyes as Steve pulled down his boxers. Bucky moaned as his cock was freed, and Steve licked his pretty pink lips. The blonde leaned forward but hesitated a moment. He looked up at Bucky again and asked, “Yes?”

Bucky nodded and replied, “Yes! Oh, god, yes!” If Steve didn’t touch him soon, he was pretty sure he would die from need.

Smirking, Steve slowly leaned in and peppered kisses around Bucky’s hips, offering a bite or two along the way. Bucky ran his hands through Steve’s thick blonde hair and felt Steve’s hands secure themselves on his ass, fingertips pressing into the firm muscle. Steve teased his hot tongue down Bucky’s length. Bucky just wanted Steve’s delicious mouth around his aching cock,  _ damnit _ . After what felt like eternal teasing, Steve finally ( _ finally! _ ) took Bucky into his soft mouth and began bobbing his head. Both men let out simultaneous groans. Bucky closed his eyes and let the sensations of his husband’s warm soft mouth take him away. Steve expertly worked him over and brought him close to the edge but backed off before Bucky could come. Bucky was panting when Steve leaned back and wiped a hand across his lips, a smug smile on his face, his hair a mess from Bucky’s fingers tangling in it. 

Bucky let Steve lead him over to the bed, where the blonde swiftly shucked his pants off. Steve, standing there in the glory of his new body, promptly took Bucky’s breath away. Bucky trailed his eyes over every dip and swell of muscle he saw, and there was a lot of muscle to see. Steve looked tentative all of a sudden. To reassure him, Bucky stepped up to his husband and hoarsely whispered into his ear, “Fuck me.”

Steve leaned back and searched Bucky’s face, saying quietly, “Yeah?”

“Yeah, sugar. I want you in me. Now.”

Saluting him, Steve mocked, “Yes, sir.”

“Careful there, Stevie, or the army will have you brought up on charges for saluting an enlisted man.”

“I think they might take more offense to Captain America fucking his husband.”

“That, too.” Bucky crawled onto the bed. “Now, are you just going to stand there or are you going to open me up?”

Steve leered at him and commanded, “On your knees, soldier.”

Bucky willingly complied, ass in the air, knees spread, and chest on the bed. He loved the anticipation, not knowing what Steve was going to do or where. He was wholly vulnerable in this position, but with the care Steve always took, he never felt more powerful. The bed dipped as Steve knelt behind him. Bucky stretched out his arms in front of him and arched his back, making Steve audibly inhale. Swaying his ass, Bucky teased, “You doing okay back there, Cap?” popping the  _ p _ .

Lightly smacking Bucky’s ass, Steve said, “Quit with the sass, sergeant, or you won’t be getting anything from me.” Steve’s fingers dug into his ass, belying his words.

Bucky laughed. “Yeah, sure, sugar. Now, eat me out...pretty please?”

“Well,” Steve nearly growled, “since you said please.” And the next thing Bucky felt was pure ecstasy as Steve’s thumbs held his cheeks apart and his tongue lapped at his tight hole. Bucky’s insides spasmed as Steve licked and kissed him open. Soon, he felt a fingertip add more pressure to the furled muscle. Squirming as Steve’s tongue and finger loosened him, Bucky said breathlessly, “I hope to god you’ve got some slick with you.”

Steve’s ministrations paused as he said, “Course I do, Buck. What kind of gentleman would I be if I invited you to my hotel room and didn’t have any slick?”

Bucky huffed out a laugh and asked, “Oh? So you think I’m an easy lay?”

“The easiest, dollface. Now, flip over, and I’ll get that slick.” Steve walked over to his duffel and bent over to retrieve the small tin. Bucky thought his heart was going to stop at the sight. Steve’s legs were now long, lean, and well-muscled, and they led up to the most glorious ass Bucky had ever seen. He wanted to sink his teeth into it. Steve straightened up, his back muscles rippling as he did so. 

“Holy hell,” Bucky exhaled, not meaning to say it out loud.

“What’s that, Buck?” Steve asked as he walked back over to the bed.

“I just--You’re beautiful, Stevie.” Michelangelo’s  _ David _ couldn’t compare. “I feel like I’m cheating on you...with you.”

Steve crawled over him like a panther, rubbed his nose against Bucky’s, and murmured into his ear. “But you’re not.” Steve’s warm breath and words sent shivers down Bucky’s spine. Steve continued lowly, “Same feelings, same memories. Improved body.”

Steve’s body on his was making Bucky’s brain fuzzy, but he focused in on Steve’s last words. “Not improved,” he managed to get out. “Healthier. Your old body was perfect.”

“Thanks, Bucky,” Steve said demurely as he placed a tender kiss over Bucky’s heart. The atmosphere in the room changed, but it was no less charged. It wasn’t the flickering flames of young lust, but rather the deeper long-lasting embers of a lifetime of love. Bucky was at peace for the first time since he received his draft notice. 

Bucky gasped into Steve’s mouth as the other man slid a slicked up finger inside him. He let his head fall back onto the pillows, with Steve’s mouth following. Contentment flowed through him as Steve added another finger, then another still, gently stretching Bucky’s hole. Their mouths moved in tandem, as if they’d never spent any time apart, tongues asking and answering. Steve pulled back just enough to ask, “You good, Buck?”

“Ngh...yeah, sweetheart. I’m good.” Steve somehow managed to slick himself up while leaning down to kiss Bucky again. With their mouths still connected, Bucky held his knees apart as Steve lined up his cock with Bucky’s hole. Bucky grunted as Steve entered him, stretching him to the limit. Before Steve could say anything, Bucky said, “You’re not hurting me, Steve. Keep going.”  _ Oh god, oh god, oh god. _ Everything dissolved except for where Steve’s hot skin seared into Bucky’s flesh. While having been impressive before the serum, Steve’s cock was now even more so. Bucky had never felt so full. He wrapped his legs around Steve’s back to get him as deep as possible.

When Steve was finally fully in, he draped himself over Bucky, panting heavily. Bucky wiped Steve’s hair off his forehead and asked, amused, “You okay, Stevie? I thought you had gotten a new set of lungs.”

Steve propped himself up again and retorted, “Shut it, jerk. You want me to fuck you or not?”

“Yes, please.” Bantering with Steve was fun, but Bucky needed the blonde to fuck him into tomorrow. Who knew when they’d get another chance like this?

At first, Steve just ground his hips in shallow circles, but Bucky dug his heels into Steve’s ass to get him to move faster. Steve got the hint and actually started thrusting deep. Bucky found the rhythm and moved in unison with his husband, the movements familiar and yet completely novel. The skin under Bucky’s fingers glided over threads of muscle, not an ounce of fat to be found anywhere on Steve’s body, nor the knobby bones that Bucky had been so used to. 

Even though they were thousands of miles from Brooklyn, he had been tortured, and Steve had a new body, everything felt right to Bucky in that moment. This wasn’t just fucking. It was discovery and rediscovery. There were no sounds around them other than their combined moans and panting; everything else just fell away. Bucky didn’t think he could love Steve any deeper than he did in the moment. Steve was his life, his heart, his soul.

Before not too long, Bucky felt the pressure mount deep in his gut and slowly start to spiral out. As his muscles started to tense, he croaked out, “Gettin’ close, sugar.” Steve leaned back onto his knees and lifted Bucky’s hips to get a better angle. Being manhandled by Steve was his new favorite thing, Bucky decided. As Steve’s cock hit his prostate, he amended,  _ well, second favorite thing _ . A few more thrusts and Bucky was arching his back as come splattered onto his chest and belly. He was pretty sure he blacked out for a few moments with pleasure.

He heard Steve pant out, “Prettier than a painting, doll,” before pumping his hips a few more times and collapsing on Bucky with a deep groan. Bucky enjoyed being pinned down by Steve’s new weight, but after a while it became fairly uncomfortable.

“Uh, Stevie? Can’t breathe,” he wheezed out.

Steve quickly rolled off, looking alarmed and said, “Shit, Buck. I’m so sorry. I forget sometimes how big I am now.

Bucky assured him, “It’s okay. You just took my breath away.”

Giving him an unimpressed look, Steve said, “Why am I married to you again?”

Bucky grinned, “‘Cause no dame wanted ya.” To which Steve responded by throwing a pillow at his head and digging his fingers into Bucky’s sensitive sides. Unfortunately, Steve knew all of Bucky’s ticklish spots and now Bucky couldn’t overpower him. Bucky soon cried out, “Uncle!” and both men fell back against the pillows, breaths heaving with laughter.

Bucky watched as Steve stood up and grabbed a towel to wipe themselves off. As he came back to the bed, Bucky couldn’t help but notice that Steve was still hard.  _ Well, that’s new _ . Before the serum, all of Steve’s numerous health problems made it impossible for him to achieve more than one orgasm in a night. That didn’t look like it was going to be a problem now.  _ Another win for the serum _ . 

Steve cleared his throat, and Bucky reluctantly dragged his eyes away from Steve’s erection to his eyes, which were sparkling with mischief. “Yes?”

“You...uh. You seem to have…” Bucky floundered, but Steve was no help, just staring him down. “You want help with that?”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“How well you can keep up.”  _ How well  _ I _ can keep up? _ His dismay must have shown on his face because Steve just grinned at him. “I  _ start _ to get a little tired after three or four orgasms.”  _ Three or four?I _ Bucky sent a silent apology to what he knew was going to be his  _ exceptionally _ sore ass tomorrow. Who cared if they ended up not getting any sleep?

Steve crawled back over Bucky, who said, “Well, let’s see what you’ve got.”

* * *

Bucky’s ass was indeed sore the next day, and he didn’t care that he winced every time he had to sit down. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate on Peggy Carter! I love her, and she has no idea about Steve and Bucky.
> 
> I'm aiming to have two additional smaller chapters with this part, detailing some of Steve and Bucky's time with the Howling Commandos.
> 
> As always, I absolutely love when you, my lovely readers, leave kudos and comments. You fill my heart with joy!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Howling Commandos are on a week's leave in a French village, and discoveries are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize to any French speakers ahead of time.
> 
> I also have no idea how the army works, so I'm making it up as I go along.

Steve looked at the men sitting around him. Besides Bucky, he’d never experienced this type of camaraderie before. He’d always missed too much school from illnesses to form any sort of deep friendships. He had been friendly with some of the women he had toured with in the States, but friendships with women were different. But these men, Dum Dum, Morita, Monty, Gabe, Dernier, and, of course, Bucky had instantly become his family after Azzano. They didn’t respect him because he was Captain America; they actually respected him in spite of that. He would die for them, and they would do the same for him. They’d been the Howling Commandos for months now, and they trusted each other implicitly. 

It was odd to think in the middle of a warzone, but Steve had never been happier. He had a family that was fighting for a good cause, and he had his husband watching his six, as Bucky had done since they were kids. He was content. For the most part. He knew he was extremely lucky to have Bucky by his side, but it pained him that they had to act as just friends in front of the others. He knew they had to, but after a lifetime together, it was difficult to breach the instinctive closeness they had for each other. But they were able to find their moments.

At the moment, for example, it was so cold out, that the Howlies were all huddled around Steve in front of the fire because of the body heat he now threw off. He didn’t care that Dum Dum, Morita, and Monty were crouched next to him, as long as Bucky’s thigh didn’t move from his own. Gabe and Dernier drew the short straw for first patrol duty that evening. 

The Howlies had been scouting a Hydra facility for a few days trying to figure out what was being produced and shipped out of there. They had quickly learned that Azzano was not a singularity in its torture and experimentation on people, and not all of them were POWs. Many were scrubbed from the nearby villages. Children included. Steve shuddered at the memory of when they discovered that. He had wanted to throw up at the sight that had greeted him. But he couldn’t think about that. He had to just let the fury fuel their missions. 

As Steve and the men finished their rations for that evening and headed to their tents, Steve reminded them, “It’s cold tonight. Remember to sleep close to each other for warmth.”

Dum Dum said to Steve, “Hey Cap, how come Sarge always gets to share your body heat? We should set up a rotation.”

Before Steve could say anything, Bucky chimed in, “Because it’s payback for all the times I had to share  _ my _ body heat as kids so this lunkhead wouldn’t freeze to death.”

Steve added, “And anyway, Dum Dum, there’s a reason you have your own tent. You and your snoring don’t allow for  _ anyone _ to get any sleep.” If one of the men really needed his body heat, Steve would willingly switch tents for the night, but Steve hadn’t been joking about Dum Dum’s snoring. Most of them put some cotton in their ears to try to drown some of it out. 

“Yeah yeah, whatever you say, Cap,” Dum Dum waved them off as he walked to his tent. Monty and Morita headed to theirs as well, but Steve and Bucky hung out by the fire for a little bit longer. When they were sure the others had settled down, they leaned closer together and laced their fingers together. Steve would have loved to lean his head on Bucky’s shoulder, but that would have been too much out in the open. 

After that night in London, they hadn’t had the time or space to do anything more than a rushed handjob or blowjob. But it wasn’t even the sex that Steve was craving. He just wanted to be able to relax and not be on alert all the time. To hug or kiss Bucky when he wanted to. And he knew that he shouldn’t complain since they even had the chance to be together. Dum Dum’s wife was back in New York with their two little ones. Morita had a girl in California. Monty’s wife was in England, so he’d been able to see her when they’d been furloughed. At least Bucky and he knew what the other was doing and was able to watch out for each other. From Dum Dum’s stories, his wife would be just as fierce a fighter, or even more so than her husband, and would gladly fight by his side, given the chance. So, he knew he shouldn’t complain. And yet.

“Stevie, I can feel you staring at me, and it’s a little creepy.” Bucky’s soft voice startled Steve out of his reverie. “Whatcha thinking about, pal?”

“I’m thinking about how once this mission is over, we’ve got a week in France away from all the fighting. A week where I might be able to actually fuck my husband. Or be fucked. I’m not picky. Or better yet, just be able to hold his hand without making sure no one is looking.”

Bucky looked at him sadly and said in a hushed voice, “I know, sweetheart. I wish we could do all those things, too.” He squeezed Steve’s hand three times in quick succession; it was their code for  _ I love you _ . Sometimes it was just three quick taps on the arm or shoulder. At this point, they could pretty much hold an entire conversation with just a few eye movements and hand gestures. It was very advantageous on the battlefield and in their downtime. 

Squeezing Bucky’s hand back, Steve said, “You ready to hit the hay?”

“Yeah, might as well.” But neither of them made a move. They just sat and stared at each for a few minutes. The world seemed to melt away from around them and meld into the flickering flames reflected in Bucky’s eyes. Steve leaned his head in a fraction, then remembered where they were, and the spell was broken. Bucky quietly breathed out, “Fuck,” and they both stood up and headed to their tent, shoulder to shoulder, hands still clasped.

* * *

What neither man realized was that Dernier and Gabe had finished their perimeter check and were going to join the men at the fire only to witness the intimate moment between them. Dernier looked at Gabe with wide eyes and whispered, “ _ Juste des amis? _ ” 

Gabe was just as astonished as he watched his captain and sergeant walk with their hands held to their tent. He turned back to Dernier and said, “ _ Certainement plus que de simples amis _ .” 

Neither of them said anything more, but both had playback images running through their minds of all the interactions they’d seen between Rogers and Barnes. They decided not to say anything, but they certainly were going to keep their eyes open.

* * *

The following day’s attack on the Hydra facility went exactly as planned with no nasty surprises, much to Steve’s relief. And not a single one of the Howlies had any injuries, which was not always the case. As the men picked up the camp, Steve wrote his report, relieved that they would be on leave soon. They’d all decided to head to the same part of France, and then each man from there would decide where to go. 

It only took about half a day to get to the pastoral village, and it appeared physically untouched by the war, unlike so many other villages in France.  _ The men need this _ , Steve thought,  _ a night of drinking and pretending the war is far away. _ They found an inn for the night and paired off in the usual fashion (Dernier and Gabe, Monty and Morita, Steve and Bucky, and Dum Dum by himself). Dernier chatted up the pretty girl at the desk to scout the best locations to go for a pint and soon got a list of places. 

At one pub, Monty asked the group where everyone had decided to go on their leave. Dum Dum said he wanted to find a small village with a stream good for fishing all day long, which Monty agreed sounded thoroughly relaxing. Morita just wanted a place that would welcome him imbibing all day and not kick him out. Gabe said he and Dernier hadn’t decided yet, but talking up pretty girls was on the list. Steve was silent, but looked towards Bucky. Bucky gave an imperceptible nod and said, “Stevie and I have just decided to bunk here for the week. Didn’t want to do anymore traveling.” Steve thought he saw a flicker of a look pass between Gabe and Dernier. He wondered what that was about.  _ Oh well, maybe it was a trick of the light _ . 

A few hours later, Bucky stood up to stretch and announced that he was done in and headed back to the inn. “You coming, Steve?” Now there was definitely a look between Dernier and Gabe.

Steve felt the need to explain, “They only gave us one key, and if Buck passes out before he can let me in, I’ll be sleeping in the hall.” He stood up. “Plus, I don’t want to be the sober one dragging your asses back when you’ve all fallen into drunken stupors.”

Morita raised his glass to him and slurred, “Here’s to drunken stupors and reasonable captains.” Gabe and Dernier both raised their glasses after a moment, and Dum Dum and Monty added an enthusiastic, “Hear hear!”

They walked back in silence to the inn, keeping an  _ appropriate _ amount of space between their bodies. At one point, Steve had the itching sensation at the base of his skull of someone watching him. Looking behind him, he didn’t see anyone. He strained his ears, but they didn’t give him any clues either. Bucky looked at him curiously, but didn’t say anything. Steve shook his head, indicating he’d tell Bucky later, who then gave three lightning quick taps to the back of Steve’s hand. They soon reached the inn, and Steve gave another look around. But he didn’t see anything out of place.

* * *

Back at the pub, Dernier looked up as Gabe walked back in. Dum Dum, Monty, and Morita were currently arms over shoulders at the piano, singing god knows what, but they were having fun. Gabe sat down at the table, and took a swig of beer. 

“ _ Alors _ ?” Dernier asked.

Gabe responded in French, “ _ Nothing too interesting, but there is definitely  _ something _ there. I have friends who are brothers to me, and we don’t have the ability to communicate that closely. It’s eerie.” _

_ “Do you…” _ the Frenchman trailed off,  _ “how do you feel about--” _ and he waved his hand, gesturing towards the door.

Gabe knew what his friend meant, but he wasn’t sure how to answer.  _ “How do  _ you _ feel about it?” _

_ “They both saved my life, so I’m thinking I don’t care. Are they harming anyone?” _

_ “No _ ,” Gabe said thoughtfully. “ _ You’ve got a point. And they’re obviously trying to not show their relationship, whatever it is.” _ Gabe thought about Rogers and Barnes for a moment. There was no doubt that they were two of the bravest and most honorable men he knew. They’d easily lay down their lives for their fellow soldiers, and, Gabe realized, he’d do the same for them, even knowing what he now suspected. He turned back to Dernier and agreed,  _ “I think I don’t care either.” _

* * *

After they had locked their door and checked out the room, Bucky turned to Steve and said, “So, you wanna tell me what’s got a bee in your bonnet?”

“It just felt like someone was watching us as we walked back, but I didn’t see or hear anything. Just...a feeling, ya know?” Steve was  _ sure _ that someone had been watching them.

“Maybe it was just one of the locals lookin’ out their bedroom window at two handsome American soldiers.”

“Yeah….maybe,” he acquiesced. He sat in the chair by the door and leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes to try and rid himself of that being-watched feeling. He opened his eyes again when he felt Bucky starting to unlace his boots. “Buck...you don’t gotta do that.”

“I know that, sweetheart. I want to. I want to take care of my husband. You gonna let me?” Bucky paused his ministrations, and looked up at Steve. Bucky had  _ always _ wanted to take care of Steve, but Steve had never allowed himself to be taken care of without a fight. He looked at Bucky’s earnest face, no trace of humor sparking his eyes. Just pure, honest love. 

Steve conceded, “Yeah, Buck, I’ll let you take care of me.” And without saying anything else, Bucky proceeded to take off both Steve’s boots, then his socks. He untucked Steve’s shirt gently and carefully undid each button and slid the sleeves off Steve’s arms. Steve watched as Bucky’s fingers moved towards his belt, sure in their action. Bucky undid his belt buckle, pulled it free of the belt loops, and set it down tenderly. He stood up and held his hand out to Steve. Steve gave him his hand and was pulled to his feet. Bucky then undid the button and zipper on Steve’s pants. It was wholly intimate, but without any sexualization, Bucky’s fingers grazing Steve’s skin was the only direct contact between them. Steve wasn’t sure where this was going, but he didn’t care. He was going to let Bucky do what he needed to do. Carefully stepping out of his pants, Steve was left standing in his undershirt and boxers, while Bucky was still fully clothed. 

Bucky stared at Steve, like committing this moment to his memory forever. He then started undoing his own clothes, still gazing at Steve. When his attire mirrored Steve’s, he brought his fingertips to Steve’s face and started tracing his cheekbones and jawline. Steve closed his eyes, reveling in the feeling that Bucky was painting him somehow. His husband’s fingers continued to outline his face and neck and then trailed down his arms. Steve’s skin erupted with goose bumps at the light touch, and he couldn’t help a full-body shiver. 

Holding his hand, Bucky led him over to the bed and simply said, “Sit, please.” Steve sat on the edge of the bed with his feet on the floor, looking up at Bucky who twirled his fingers in a  _ turn around _ motion. He rotated his body around so that he was sitting cross-legged atop the bed with his back to his husband and no idea what was going to happen. But then any coherent thought drifted to the wind as Bucky began to massage his shoulders and neck. His strong hands dug into knots that Steve didn’t even know he had. His new body was able to withstand so much these days, but he sometimes forgot that it was still just a human body. It was good to be reminded.

As Bucky’s fingers worked out the kinks, Steve thought back to how Bucky had learned this in the first place. Steve had had a nasty bout of pneumonia that wracked his body with every little cough, and most were not little. He was about ten years old, but looked like he belonged in kindergarten. Sarah had been working double shifts at the hospital because a bout of influenza had taken ahold of the city. Bucky had been over making sure that Steve ate some of the soup Sarah had left when a particularly bad coughing fit attacked Steve. The older boy had rushed to his side and started to cradle him and rub his back the way he’d seen Freddie do with the girls when they were sick. His friend had rubbed his back through that fit and many more. Bucky had even asked Sarah to teach him how to massage Steve’s back so that his poor muscles could get some relief. From that point on, any time Steve was sick or even feeling slightly under the weather, Bucky would massage his back. And now it had probably been close to two years since they had been able to do this.

By the time Bucky had finished his neck and shoulders, Steve was already a puddle and could barely sit up. He flopped face-first down on the quilt, and Bucky soon straddled his hips. As Bucky worked his way down Steve’s back, Steve could feel himself grow hard, but sex was not on his mind. He hadn’t even realized that Bucky had gotten off the bed until he said, “Stevie, you gotta get under the covers and move over.”

“Mmhmm.”  _ What were words? Why are they even needed? _ What had Buck said? “Mmkay, dollface...you got it.” Suddenly a sharp poke in his side brought him back to the present. “Hey! What’s that for?”

“I would like to get in bed, and you won’t move your ass.” Bucky sounded more amused than cranky. That was okay, then. Heeding his husband’s words, Steve moved his ass back and forth a fraction but remained in the same place on the bed. A light smack on his butt made him crack open an eye to look at Bucky. The brunette was standing by the side of the bed with his arms crossed and a pout on his face.

“Okay okay. But this is all your fault. I didn’t ask for you to massage me into a coma,” Steve mumbled into the quilt, but he moved his way over to the side of the bed and let Bucky work the quilt out from underneath him.

Bucky grumbled good-naturedly, “You know, this was a lot easier when you weighed nothing, and I could just lift you where I needed you to be.”

“You know this happens to me every time. Why didn’t you pull the covers back before I even sat down?”

“Maybe I thought the serum would have given you some manners, you lump,” Bucky said as he slid into bed behind Steve and spooned him just as if he were small again.

Steve laced their fingers together against his stomach and mumbled, “Your lump. All comatose lumpy me. All yours.”

He felt more than heard Bucky say to the back of his neck, “Damn straight you’re mine. And I’m yours.” Before he fell asleep, Steve gave Bucky’s hand three quick squeezes.

* * *

The following day, the rest of the Howlies somehow managed to stumble into the same eating establishment at roughly the same time. Having not overly imbibed the night before, Dernier’s and Gabe’s heads were feeling fine, but their stomachs were talking. Morita could barely open his eyes; in fact, his shirt was unevenly buttoned, so it appeared that he had not opened his eyes at all that morning. And Dum Dum and Monty were sporting equally painful headaches. Everyone was hushed while they ate their food. 

“Anyone seen Sarge or the Captain this fine morning?” Dum Dum asked, feeling better after having eaten a breakfast three men could have split. A chorus of no’s answered back. “Well, if I can remember correctly through the ale haze, Emile the tenderest of bartenders, said there’s a lovely stream not too far from here, vibrant with trout, so I think I’ll be sticking around the village for our leave.”

With his forehead on the table, Morita said to the floor, “Dugan, that’s far too many fancy words for being hungover.”

“Cheer up, mate,” Monty chimed in. “His verbose verbiage is verily vernacular. You’re just too pissed to realize.” Gabe, Dernier, and Dum Dum roared with laughter, making Morita wince and cover his ears. 

In the end, they all decided that they were staying in the village as none felt like making any further travel plans. Morita ended up going back to his room to try to sleep off his hangover, while Dum Dum and Monty found fishing gear and headed towards the stream. And Dernier and Gabe decided to explore the village.

  
  


Later in the afternoon, Dum Dum and Monty came back from fishing and found Morita drinking coffee outside of a cafe. Just as the other two men sat down, Gabe and Dernier strolled by. 

“Oh, good,” Dum Dum said. “You’re here. Monty and me saw something by the river, and we needed to run it by you guys.”

Gabe looked at him. “What’s going on, Dugan?” Dum Dum started explaining, with some interjections added by Monty, how the best fishing spot was in an old part of the village where many of the buildings had fallen into ruins. They had set up their gear, intending to stay quite some time, when they saw two men walking together who strangely resembled their captain and sergeant, but these men were walking and talking awful close to each other. Their fishing abandoned, Dum Dum and Monty started to tail the pair to see if it actually was Rogers and Barnes. 

“Well?” Morita asked, “Was it them?”

“We saw them go into a decrepit church, and when we peeked in, we saw them...having a moment,” Dum Dum fumbled.

Morita looked slightly afraid to ask, “...what kind of moment?” Gabe and Dernier just looked at each other.

Monty supplied, “A rather romantic moment, actually. Nothing really untowards, except for, well….”

“....they’re both men?” Morita finished.

“Well, yes, but like I said, if it were a gentleman and a lady, no one would bat an eye,” Monty said. 

Dum Dum looked to the two who hadn’t spoken yet. “You two are awfully quiet over there.”

Gabe hesitantly said, “Ah, yes. Well. Jacques and I already knew. Suspected heavily, really.”

“For how long?” Morita squeaked out.

“ _ Seulement quelques jours _ ,” Dernier said while Gabe translated, “Only a few days.” He held up a hand to forestall the objections he saw brewing. “But before you say anything, we didn’t see anything concrete. Just them being rather...close. We didn’t say anything because we didn’t think it needed to be said.”

“ _ Not needed? _ ” Morita was having a difficult time wrapping his head around the idea of his captain and sergeant, together...like  _ that _ . Dernier said something in too rapid of French for anyone except Gabe to understand, who just nodded at him.

“Like Jacques said, those two men would die for us ten times over if they could. Rogers hasn’t led us astray yet, and I never feel safer than when I have Barnes watching my back.”

The other men mulled over Gabe’s words, each thinking back over their own personal interactions with Barnes and Rogers and deciding what foot they were going to step forward with. As if telepathically linked, they all came to the same conclusion: to not say anything to their captain and sergeant unless necessary.

* * *

Steve was in mid-chew when he saw the Howlies walk into the pub where he and Bucky were eating dinner. Bucky gave him a concerned look when he choked and started coughing. He quickly cleared his throat and nodded towards the door. 

“What are they doing here?” Bucky asked quietly. Taking a sip of water, Steve shook his head. “I thought they were all going to travel somewhere else.”  
“I did, too. D’you think they’ve been here the whole time?” They’d been in the village for three days already, and neither he nor Bucky had seen any of the Howlies in town. Steve started to panic a little; he and Bucky had been relatively discreet, but they thought there wasn’t anyone in town who knew them. On the other hand, though, they hadn’t seen any of their fellow soldiers, so maybe they hadn’t actually been seen. 

Bucky mused, “I think we have to assume so.” He leaned back in his chair and stretched out his legs. “Well, we had a few good days of thinking we were by ourselves.” 

Steve nodded and unenthusiastically finished his dinner. Neither one spoke for the rest of the meal. They warily left, Steve hoping the other men hadn’t seen them. He knew the idea of a week where he and Bucky could be themselves was a dream, but he couldn’t help but hope. Steve reminded himself that they were lucky to have gotten three days of not feeling like they needed to look over their shoulders at every turn. 

As they walked out of the pub, a beautiful sunset greeted them. Steve didn’t think he’d ever get over being able to see all the colors he could now. He never imagined that red could be so alive, even when it was spilling out of someone’s dying body. But sunrises and sunsets were now his favorite sights, and he wished he could get his hands on a set of paints to capture their magic. He could picture sitting on the roof of their building painting Bucky with the sunset settling over Brooklyn in the background. And right now, he just wished he could hold his husband’s hand with the natural beauty around them. 

“Let’s walk along the river,” Bucky suggested. They walked in silence until they came upon the ruins. Bucky glanced around them and softly took Steve’s hand and leaned against his shoulder, while Steve let out a contented sigh. This was the way it should have always been, Steve being the one that Bucky could literally lean on. He had always wanted to be the one to be able to take care of those around him, just like his ma had, but his body had been too weak. Now, he had no weakness in his body.

They walked to the derelict church that offered a modicum of privacy and watched the sunset for a few minutes. Steve angled his head towards his husband’s and whispered, “Happy Birthday, Buck.”

Bucky didn’t say anything for a moment and then replied, “It ain’t my birthday yet, sweetheart.”

Facing Bucky, Steve rested his forehead against Bucky’s. “I know it’s not until next week, but I wanted to be able to tell you where I could kiss you. And the view is beautiful, and I wanted you to have this moment.”

“Thank you, Stevie,” Bucky said. Then he gently kissed Steve, nothing more than just the barest of touches. Steve wrapped Bucky in his arms and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss, still keeping it fairly innocent. They pulled apart and just rested against each other, watching the sunset slip below the horizon together.

* * *

Unbeknownst to the couple, Morita had followed them out of the pub. He mostly believed the others, and he disliked invading Rogers’ and Barnes’ privacy, but a part of him needed to see with his own eyes. He was very conflicted about the situation. If he hadn’t known the two men, he probably would have reported their relationship to Colonel Phillips. He’d been raised in an extremely traditional and conservative Japanese family, and he was having a difficult time wrapping his head around the situation. What the other Howlies said was true: Rogers and Barnes would die for any one of them. But how could two men….? It just went against everything he knew, or thought he knew.

Trailing the two soldiers proved to be less difficult than Morita anticipated. They were certainly more aware of their surroundings than most people, and Rogers could hear a pin drop on a battlefield. But Morita knew them and trained with them; he could make himself soundless. 

The pair walked to the river and stopped at the old church. Morita watched as the two took in the sunset. He could see them talking to each other but couldn’t hear what was being said. Their body language spoke of a history shared between them, though. Morita started to feel sick to his stomach. Not because his captain and sergeant were obviously a couple, but because they clearly shared a deep love and Morita was violating that. Still, though, he couldn’t look away when they exchanged as loving a kiss as any he had seen. There wasn’t anything obscene about it or unnatural. In fact, it looked more natural and caring than many. 

Morita walked away before Barnes and Rogers left the church, his head and heart in turmoil. Could he have been so wrong about so many other things in his life? He’d always assumed that those men who lusted after other men just wanted to be women or were simpering fairies. Neither could be said of Rogers and Barnes. Both were the epitome of the tough All-American soldier. He went back to his room at the inn, and fell asleep rethinking his worldview.

* * *

Over the next few days, Steve occasionally saw the rest of the Howlies, sometimes as a group, but more often than not, in pairs or as singles. They appeared to be keeping their distance, making it seem as if they didn’t see him or Bucky, but Steve knew they weren’t that unobservant. He wondered what was going on and what had made them all stay in the village when they’d had plans to leave. He didn’t bring it up to Bucky, though. Maybe it was all in his head and he was being paranoid. 

He and Bucky spent much of their time in their room at the inn, where they could actually act as a couple, but they did spend some time exploring. Steve loved sketching the ruins by the river, so that’s where they usually headed. Bucky bought a few books that kept him occupied. It was idyllic, considering the circumstances. 

They were sitting on the riverbank late in the afternoon one day, each occupied in their own way when the Howlies came upon them. Steve sensed that something was up. The men looked relaxed enough, but he could read the tension in the group. 

“Hey fellas,” he said, standing up. Bucky had been too absorbed in his book to realize they were there until Steve spoke. He followed Steve to his feet.

The men looked at each other, and Gabe finally stepped forward. “We wanted to run something by you. Sort of,” he said cryptically.

“Okaaay.” Steve looked to Bucky. He appeared as confused as Steve felt. “What’s going on?”

“We know….” Gabe trailed off, clearly uncomfortable. He took a deep breath as if bracing himself. “We know about you two.”

Steve stiffened and he felt the temperature drop around him. He didn’t see Bucky, but he figured Bucky was experiencing something similar. “You know  _ what _ about us, exactly?” He couldn’t keep the ice from forming in his words. To a man, the Howlies imperceptibly cringed at Steve’s tone. They’d never felt his anger directed towards them.

Gabe bravely plowed on, “We know that you are a couple. And before you say anything, we wanted you to know that we’re all okay with it.”

“You’ve discussed this? You’ve talked about  _ us? _ ” Bucky’s voice appeared calm, but Steve could hear the protective undertones.

Not cowed, Monty calmly said, “Yes. It’s not everyday that the captain and the sergeant of an elite fighting force are in a relationship.” Steve started to bristle, but Monty held up a hand. “We just wanted to let you know that you don’t have to hide it from us. You’re our brothers, and we couldn’t ask for better commanders.”

Steve finally looked to Bucky.  _ Could this be real? _ He watched as the tightness in Bucky’s face gave way, and he gave Steve a small nod. Turning back to the Howlies, Steve asked, “You’re all agreed on this? You’re not going to report us?”

Dum Dum grinned, “Nah, Cap. We like the job we’re doing now. If you were to get court-martialed, we’d be sent back to the infantry ranks.” Steve heard Bucky let out a low laugh at that. Maybe this was doable. It would be such a relief to not have to wonder constantly if he was too close to Bucky or if a look lingered too long or a touch happened that wasn’t typical between just friends.

Morita looked ashamed as he said, “This wasn’t easy for some of us. For me. I only thought I knew things about...about people like you. And I think I was very wrong.”

“Thank you,,” Steve said, taken aback by the admission. 

“Sarge,” Dum Dum said, “was Rogers the person you wanted me to get word to through your sister?” Bucky nodded. “If you don’t mind me asking, how long you boys been together?”

“Since high school.” Steve’s answer was met with wide eyes and a whistle from Dum Dum. 

“Huh,” Morita said. “So, this is not a new thing?”

Bucky snorted. “No, definitely not.”

“And here we thought you were trying to set a good example for us degenerates by not chasing women in our downtime,” Gabe joked. 

“ _ Et l'agent Carter _ ?” Dernier asked.

Steve frowned slightly. “What about her?”

“ _ Elle avait l'air très intéressée par vous, capitaine, de retour à Londres _ .” Steve could feel his face redden as Bucky laughed. The other men looked bemused.

Bucky explained, “ _ She’s _ interested in Stevie, all right. And he’s never been able to talk to dames, so he had no idea how to brush off her advances.”

Steve scowled at Bucky. “I hate you, you know that?”

“I know for a fact that that’s false,” teased Bucky. “And I have the ring at home to prove it.” The Howlies stilled at Bucky’s words.

“Ring? As in, wedding ring?” Dum Dum finally asked. “How long?”

“Five years come August,” Bucky said fondly, bumping shoulders with Steve.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” uttered Monty. “Me and the missus have only been married for three years.”

“Me and mine have seven years under our belts,” Dum Dum chimed in. “If I forget in August, congrats on five years.”

“Thanks, Dugan,” Steve said, entwining his fingers with Bucky. He looked at all of the Howlies. “I just want to let you know how much we appreciate this. It means more than I think you can fathom.”

Bucky squeezed his hand three times before saying, “Sooo, are we going to stand here gabbing the evening away, or are we going to do what the Howlies do best and close the pubs down?”

  
  


As Steve and Bucky lay in bed that night after fucking each other’s brains out, Steve still couldn’t believe that they had discussed their marriage with the Howlies. It was unreal. He had been so terrified of the men finding out and being court-martialed, and now it seemed that not only was their relationship being tolerated, it was being accepted. When he and Bucky got married five years ago, only Bucky’s sister, Becca and her new husband, knew about them. And now? Bucky’s whole family and the Howlies knew. It was wild. So much weight lifted from his shoulders that he now could just  _ be _ . It felt like champagne bubbles were rising from his toes all the way into the air. He had never known that he could feel so free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> According to Google translate:
> 
> juste des amis=just friends  
> certainement plus que de simples amis=definitely more than just friends  
> alors=so  
> seulement quelques jours=only a few days  
> et l'agent Carter=what about Agent Carter?  
> Elle avait l'air très intéressée par vous, capitaine, de retour à Londres=she appeared very interested in you, Captain, back in London


End file.
